Today i huddled up with some mamas. We spent a lot of time discussing about age. One of the mamas was concerned about what she´ll do about her plans of starting a career. She´s been married for a few years and they´re just recently start having baby plans. She was talking about the need to go back to school, and someday in the future be able to work with something she´s passionate about. She was very ambivalent about this issue, baby or nor baby.
Some other mamas, warned against it. “Finish school first,” mamas said. “It’s too hard to study and watch a newborn.”
I, of course, had to chime in. “Well, it’s hard, but it’s not impossible,” I told her. “I had Leo under my last semester. I mean becoming a mama under these circumstances is hard but somehow…you make it work.”
She just kind of looked at both of us, like she didn’t know what to think.
And really, I was questioning what advice I was giving her. I have to admit, going to school while you´re taking care of a newborn a lot of work. Last semester I almost quit everything from the stress. Every week there was a major project due, in four different coursers. I was running between the classes and home to breastfeed, or pumping out milk in the school toilet. I could only do my studies during nigh time at home being awake the whole night, and then being up the whole day. I had no sleep at all for months, I felt like a zombie. It was a struggle, no doubt about it! Even though I had my hubby there doing his best, he couldn’t do much, because I was the fridge and Leo was more attached to me during the first months.
At that time I sometimes wanted to wait and later on go back and finish. But that didn´t make any sense. Personally, even though it was tough the time was right. I was pushing through because I knew it would make my life better in the future, also because I didn’t want to limit myself. So, kid or no kid, I’m making things happen..
But now, almost nine months later, I am extremely happy, extremely. I definitely remember life before my baby boy but somehow it seems like all my memories of that are in black and white, while my current reality is in color. It’s kind of like life before the iPod. Yes, it was pretty cool walking around with your Sony Discman, but then you got your iPod and it was a wrap. Motherhood is kind of like that.
Well, was my life stress-free before having a baby? Yup. I had a ton more energy. But when my son cries because he misses me, or when he looks at me and beams at me with the most beautifully smile well, somehow I don’t mind being sleep deprived as much.
I guess, what i´m trying to say and my advice to her is to not let the idea of having kids keep you from doing what you want to do. You could be a , or a , or an . Having kids doesn’t erase your goals. Is it easy? Heck no. But is it possible? Heck yes. Many moms have done it.
When you become a mom, you make a way out of no way.
What advice would you give a mama/daddy in a similar seat, married or not married?