Too young for hair extensions

Reading and commenting in Carol'sblog about Zoe's hair had a lot of thoughts circling through my
 mind right now. Okay for those of you who are clueless in what I'm talking about; Carola is a known
 figure in Sweden. She recently adopted and became a proud mama for a truly pretty little girl. 
The toddlers name is Zoe she just turned 3 three years old and is adopted from South Africa.
 While scrolling through Carolas blog my attention got drawn to these pictures of Zoe getting her hair
 done.They got me very irritated! What I reacted on wasn’t the fact that she was getting her hair done,
 it was more about on that hair style Carola decided to put on for that little girl; 
COME ON she is three years old!

I mean Is it really okay to braid in this much hair in such a small child, is it even acceptable to put 
hair extensions on such a small children. I think it´s totally inappropriate! This has caused many 
strong reactions among many others, well with good reason. Then of course there are other people
 who consider it okay because the little girl is black, implicating that the use of extensions on small
 children’s belongs to the African culture. And there for it´s not a big deal. How can someone even
 justify this by claiming that she is black and therefore it´s okay? Come on, we blacks knows that our 
hair requires a lot of job. And wish black girl could ever forget all the times and hours our mamas 
have put on doing our hair. I remember sometimes sitting either with a smile on my face because I
 loved what she was doing, fixing the style I loved, or I could be crying because it was painful or
 while getting the style I hated.

I´ve never seen a black mama putting this much hair on a three year old girl. And to 
say that black parents do this with their little ones, I think it´s damn offensive, since 
many of them are working hard to take care of their child's hair in a dignified manner.
 A similar discussion has gone around in the U.S. about Angelina Jolie's daughter Zahara
Taking care of curly, afro textured hair is not hard, but it requires a lot of work, if you know
 what you are doing. By following some simple guidelines taking care of your daughter’s
 hair can be a pain free and pleasant experience.

A more common way to use hairpieces on toddlers is for cornrow braids.
Folkstorm mot Zoes löshår, Carola, Zoes löshår, hair extensions kids

My personal opinion is that our black babies should not have to be treated differently simply 
because they are black. Sure, there are certainly some black parents experimenting on their babies head, 
putting on weaves, braids, sew in and going as far as relaxing their small kids hair, who are apparently
 too young for it. Just because they are acting irresponsible doesn’t make it right! These parents, as well
 as Carola should learn more about their children’s afro hair. And most of all learn how treat and 
love their children's natural curls. This is not a cultural thing, since kids in Africa barely us 
hairpieces like that. It´s more an western countries thing. A way of imitating the caucasion
 kids hair,  learning our kids to crave for something they was not born with. And
 For the same reason we use relaxer on our hair to get that bouncing and sleek feeling. 

Don’t get it twisted people, i´m not saying that we shouldn’t braid our girl’s hair, but keep in mind 
what’s appropriate putting on a little kids head. You don’t see a Caucasian kid having extension to fill up
 their thin hair. I’m just saying, no matter what the hair texture your daughter may have she is a special 
unique human being. Help her always remember that by caring for her hair in a way that makes her happy
 and teach her in an early stage to feel proud with the hair she was given. 

Come on Carola Zoe's is three years old, give her a damn break!

What´s your opinion?
Is it ok to put on this much hair on a 3 year old toddler? For what reasons,
 she is too small to take care of it, and it´s surely not at protective hairstyle fit for a kid.

31 kommentarer:

  1. Jen Benavente3 maj 2012 19:54

    It’s wrong on many levels. Not only because Carola isnt mentally healthy. But also because she helps ruin her daughters hair before she grows up. It’s like teaching your kids how to put makeup on when they are 3-5 years old. Anyone who doesnt understand the stupidity should seek help and think again. Kids can grow their own hair without ANY help from glue or any other extension method, and it grows really fast. No need for extensions!

  2. Hej! Tack för kommentaren i min blogg. Har svarar dig där också. Fick en tanke när jag läste ditt inlägg. Självklart är det inte ok "bara för att Zoe är svart". Jag anser att det är okej för alla att mixtra med deras barns hår, både med färg, löshår, flätor och hårband. Precis lika ok som nagellack eller fina kläder. Sålänge man inte tatuerar eller piercar sina barn, eller gör något annat bestående, så tycker jag det är okej. Mitt inlägg är inte skrivet utifrån att Zoe är svart, utan huruvida löshår är ett övergrepp eller ej, vilket psykologen i Aftonbladet hävdade.

    Att mixtra med sitt utseende är något vi alla gör, speciellt som barn. Och jag tycker som sagt inte att det är fel. Det är en del av utvecklingen och identitetssökandet. :)

    1. mmm men då ska det ju också komma från barnet, att de vill det, många 3åringar tänker inte på extension och är definitivt inte identitet sökande. Som barn tänker man oftast att man duger som jag är. Identitet sökande kommer senare i tonåren. Jag säger inte heller att man ska låta bli att ha kul med sina barn, Jag gillar även att klä min Leo, det är väll alla färldrars önskan att se sina barn fina någonstans måste man dra gränsen.

  3. I think that every one should have the right to long beatyful hair, maybe its a little bit to early if you are 3 years old.

  4. I totally agree with you. Too many adults, around the globe, treat their kids like accessories; lace headbands, tight dresses, high heels, extensions, make-up and God knows what. It's all about being pretty, at every age and I think it is ridiculous. Sure, I used to play dress-up and such when I was a kid, but it was never forced on me or even suggested by my mother and she never allowed me to do anything.

    Kids are kids, regardless of their skin color, heritage and religion, and should be allowed to be just kids, because they are great just as they are.

    1. Kids should defiantly be kids. My son is turning 1 year next month and i would never "accessories" him. although i do think that every parent should have fun with there kids, as long as we keep it in a child level. I love shopping for Leo, but i would never put on something that i knew could harm or feel disrespectful to him.Ill go bt the example of your mother, thanx : )

  5. It's meant to say that my mother never allowed me to do anything that would be permanent! Such as extensions, piercings and such.

  6. I agree with you, and LadyDahmer.
    Children don't NEED anything to make them more beautiful, and by encouraging make-up, extensions, etc. you are indirectly telling them that they are not pretty "to their fullest potential". It's crazy.
    As one of your anonymous commentators has written, there's a difference between playing dress-up and actually being allowed to dress-up everyday at such a young age. I too played dress-up, though I see a big difference in me as a child, putting on my mothers' too large for me dresses and high heels, strutting around impersonating her, and actually being one of those children that are allowed to use make-up or inappropriate clothing as they use socks, meaning something you use everyday - then it's not "play" anymore but what the child is striving for to look like.
    Children should be children. And to go back to the topic of the little Zoe's hair. As you said, parents usually choose shorter hair on their children, for the managability of it - children are not dolls, and the hair Will mess up. And that's the way it's supposed to be.

    1. Its crazy for some to claim that Zoes hair is ok. I totaly agree with you,The dressing up thing is not even comparable with this braiding that much hair on that babies head, covering her face. I'm just hoping this should be an eye opener for many many parents with black babies, and children in general to let them be kids.

  7. I was just now texting with my best friend about this subject and telling her about my experienses living in Kenya as at teenager. That was 15 years ago though but anyway, the only place where I saw any (grown up) kenyan women with straightened hair or extensions was in Nairobi. Everywhere else (I lived in Kakamega an went on daytrips to Kisumu and Eldoret) everyone I saw, men, women and children, had their own beautiful natural hair. Most people did not even have braids. Two of my childhood friends were adopted från Ethiopia and they wore their hair natural until they were teenagers and had it relaxed by their own choise.
    I think it's really sad that Carola starts the parent-child relationship by "beautyfying" her daughter by white peoples standards. What is she gonna think her mother loves her for when she grows up? Plus, it must be painful not to mention bad for the roots of the hair!

    1. As a Kenyan i shear your view. In Kenya kids doesn´t walk around in their hair. And as you state many of them are proud of their natural hair. Nairobi is a very fashionably town and sadly a lot of people are more and more trying striving for the living standard in west or its people already live that life. But small kids don’t have that hair on their head almost looking like a wig. Ill soon travels to Kenya, ill check it out so stay tune and thanks for your post.

  8. I dont see anything wrong in braidng your childs hair or making corn rows with some help of fake hair. . . My half kenyan daughter3 yrs wanted braids last time we were in Nairobi and she got them. She had seen some gals at a wedding with some purple braids (!) and wanted it. I much rathger braid fake purple hair into her hair for a few weeks than dye her hair permanently. Braids dosent harm her hair and if she loves it let her have it. I understand this discussion started with Carola n yeah maybe braids could have been a better option but then again what does Carola know about black hair? If they told her to choose and if they encourraged her how could she have known to do othervice its not like they teach u at the childrens home how to maintain the hair..

    Black and especially pointee hair is hard to handle and keep nice unless shaved. So I myself and my daughters cannot wait for the day that their hair is long enough to be dreaded then theres no more making of the hair. They want hair like mammas !

    Jenni Njeri

    1. Hi Njeri, Well i don´t either if the kid is a bit older. Im not saying braid are bad or neither the fake hair. I dont think inappropriate in such a young kid. A 3 year old shouldn't go trough all that process just to get longer more bouncier look. Im a Kenyan to and NO iv never seen a kid even an older one walking around in that kind of hair, maybe you've seen kids coming from abroad braiding their hair like that. Which kid could possibly go to school in that hair in Kenya?? I don't think they are aloud to. Yes the corn rows, and yes a rasta in a kid level fine. But still the kid should be older. Dreads are fine since you just let them gro, so keep it up. It´s us black parents to blame for this type of trend. WY are we doing this to our black babies why are we having such a hard time loving our kids just the way they are, they should grow up loving their hair and not only with all that fake hair, try it! It will surely boost your daughters self-esteem. thanx for your opinion : )

    2. I agree with you in many ways. Natural beauty is the shit and that is what we prefer too ! Well im quite sure ur not allowed to have anything but shaved or corn rows in public schools, Which is a good thing, everybody looks the same and no one can come showing off with their new crazy hairstyle in shool ! :) Thanks for a great blog,luv reading words from a sista :)

  9. I agree with you. I'm from Nigeria and i hate it whenever i see a little kid with a very advanced braided hair. In Nigeria some mothers are inciting on doing the kids hair while asleep, some even cry through the hole process because of pain. Every parents should care for their babies hair. But keep in mind that they are kids and dont need that big beyonce hair especially when they are so young. Black parents should really STOP for a sec. and think about why we lack in teach our children s to be proud of them self's without all that hair.

  10. Bra skrivet, håller fullständigt med dig. Har två döttrar med en afrikans pappa. Och får ofta kommentarer om att jag borde göra si å så med deras hår. Men känner att så länge de kan ha en enkel fläta, sätta upp håret fin och sätta upp det i fina tofsar så får det duga. Aldrig fallit för det där trycket som jag är mycket väll medveten om som finns bland svarta. Att avidentifiera mörka barn genom löshår, rakpermanent, eller plattahåret rakt. Men visst så småningom närr de blir tillräckligt stora och kan hantera håret något själva kanske jag släpper lite på det. Men då har de ändå hunnit växa till sig och lärt sig att älska sig själva så som deras hår ser ut. Då tror jag även att den där känslan av att vlja vara "vit" inte blir lika stark. Fin blog du har är absolut en ny följare, hoppas du skriver mer om hår och produkter har svårt att hitta bland all djungel. Härligt!

  11. Jag har också bloggat i ämnet och länkat ditt inlägg som jag tycker är bra, även om jag är av en annan åsikt:

    1. Tack Fatou jag har läst ditt fantastiska inlägg och granskning av min text. Tycker det är väldigt bra att detta skapa en stunds öppenhet för ett ämne som det annars inte pratas öppet om här i Svea. Hoppas det fortsätter även efter all hysteri om Carola och Zoe. Dels för att skapa förståelse men också för att folk ska få en bättre insyn i det här ämnet. Har en del tankar dock om det du skrivit, jag återkommer. Åter tack!

  12. Du skriver det jag tänker...Grymt skrivet, har även läst ditt inlägg hos ladydahmer även där rockar du! Så sant har aldrig tänkt det på det här sättet. Jag har barn med en kongolese, ne faaaan nu ska skitet av. Mina barn är för små och det är min uppgift som mamma att ta min tid till att fixa deras hår. Har kollat en del clipp på youtube, I get it! TACK! från en glad mamma : )

    1. Härligt att kunna bidra med ny tankeställning, bra inställning och kul att läsa det här. Dina små kommer rocka sina afro. Bra att du söker info. innan osv jag gör samma sak för min son. Youtube rockar. Lyckönskningar. Berätta gärna hur det går.

  13. Hej jag tyckte inte heller att Zoe som 3åring skulle ha haft dessa extension. Jag som afrikansk mamma skulle inte ens sätta dessa extensions i min 11åringens hår. Braids/cornrow skulle ha varit mer passande. Jag älskar Carola och tror inte att hon visste bättre:)

    1. Skönt å höra att det finns mer av oss. Vi som vågar säga nej! Det är ju självfallet att hon inte visste bättre, men kanske borde hon ha tagit på mer information och inte bara lyssnat på frisören. Inte ens vi svarta lyssnar så blint på frisören då vi är väldigt försiktiga med vem som får röra vårt hår. Jag tror din dotter kommer va dig tacksam, keep up the good work! : )

  14. hey girl! Mimmi M here
    I think that Zoe looked cute in her new hairdo. It was suitable for her little head and it was not going overboard at all. Allthough I do agree with you that little black girls should learn to love their natural curls the way god intened but the way the world looks today where everything is based on the way you look we are sadly failing our little ones :(

    1. Hey Miss M, The only thing cute on Zoe´s is her baby innocent face, that we hardly get to see. No doubt about that she is cute. But no, its totally to much, it looks like something my mom would wear. The beauty of a kid is them being just kids. The whole thing gets overboard due to the fact that she just got adopted 2weeks ago to a white mama, it´s even more important for her to feel an acceptance just the way she is. Well i think we can be fashionable with our hair, its up to us to make it, our black babies are worth more than some Synthetics S@¤%!. Thnx for your opinion.

  15. Wow, this surely is a heated debatte. I am a mother of a young baby gal and to be honest with you i really didn't give much attention to her hair until recently. I have her hair in small buns. The most interesting thing is that i have heard hair comments from a few individuals in my surroundings and just to mention a few;...
    'you ought to cut her hair so that it grows a fresh'
    'why do people have extensions on their kids, its just ugly! I never put extensions on my kids who are now grown upp teenagers'
    'when i get a daughter, i will be styling her hair in so many different ways since am good in making hair'

    As most of you mochas know, having the hair styled to the desired style is normally a pain in the gut. It takes alot of time, not to mention the cost but hey, no pain no gain right :)

    Anyways, back to my daughters hair. The topic of cutting the first hair a baby is born with is a disscussion my husband and i have had with many people close to us. Why should it be cut anyway??? I still don't get it!
    About extensions on a little girls hair is a tough subject for me as a mother. I remember seeing little Zoes picture on the newspapers and before even reading the article reacting to the nature of the hair...i remember saying to myself that i hope that is not 'fake hair'. I later saw an article that the mom had chosen hair extensions and going on about princesses and long hair.
    I must admit i don't know how to braid hair but i am learning....
    All in all...after reading a few articles on this subject on your page, AB,LD page and Fatous page, i must admit NOW that i am in no position to criticise Carola's choice as am also sailing in the same boat. She saw it appropriate at the time and she has a long way to go and alot to learn about afro hair. All i can say is i wish her all the best!

    1. Well mama we are battling the same issue. I´v heard the same thing. Alot of comments hear and there about our sons hair since we haven´t cut his hair since birth. We are both clueless, asking the same question, Why should the hair be cut, for it to grows out better, why all this fuss? As a first time mama i almost fell for it, but we never did it, his baby hair gradually fell of and replaced with knew. Still the comments keep coming about cutting him and that if i had cut his hair it would have grown longer know oooh siiiight! I don´t know were this is coming from, or if there´s any truth in it. Anyone who knows, plz??

      I just tell em that i´ll wait and see what would happens if we don't cut Leo´s hair, and if it refuses to grow then maybe we´ll consider their point of view. But as far as we can see, Leo´s hair is growing out as it should, nothing strange at all. Maybe i should put a post about this?

      I agree with you, This thing about hair extensions is a though subject. But at the same time its not that though, If we choose to look at it from an children prospective. I´m having a hard time believing that a young kid like Zoe would even want to have hair put on their head, she would have been just as happy if her mama choose another hairstyle with for example buns with some beads, kids love them. She is so young, still using diapers. How in the world could someone put her on a chair for hours to get her hair done,for me that´s disturbing!

      Obviously Carola didn´t know better. What makes it even disturbing is that she brushes of the hole thing with her lame clarification that "their are no princesses with short hair" i got speechless, didn't even comment on that. I mean not all criticism are bad one, and i think in her position she could have been more open about it since she is clueless on how to care for Afro hair, and as far as i know i´v never come across any good black salon in Sweden, or?. And considering cutting baby's first hair, i´ll check it up and let me know if find out something. Thanx for a great comment!

  16. En som undrar7 maj 2012 15:13

    Men då förstår jag inte varför afrikanska kvinnor själva använder löshår om det inget man inte vill introducera till sina barn. Vadå går alla svarta kvinnor med löshår, har de inget hår alls? Jag förstår inte det här riktigt. Jag har limmat i extension två gånger det är väll inget farligt eller?

  17. Jätteintressan inlägg! Håller med dig i mycket... framförallt de sista meningarna angående att aktivt verka för att barnen lär sig att älska deras hår.

    Det känns dock lite som att vi reagerar starkare när det är europeiska föräldrar än när det är afrikanska föräldrar som behandlar barnets afrohår. Jag tycker inte att vi kan ''klandra'' Carola och andra europeiska föräldrar när afrikanska föräldrar inte är så mycket bättre själv. Vi behöver granska vår egen grupp allra först.

    Men jag tror i allafall på förbättring och precis som du säger, att hålla ämnet levande kan också innebära mer kunskap. /Linda

    1. Håller med dig om att vi först och främst ska granska oss själva.Därför är det viktigt att vi vågar föra diskussion oss emellan. Barnen är framtiden och får de rätt verktyg från början vilket tydligt våra föräldrar inte haft tillgång till, är det en enorm vinst.

      Däremot tror jag inte att någon klandrar Carola på det visset. Det är väll positivt att så många reagerar, vilket alltid är en början åt det rätta hållet. Tycker inte det spelar någon roll vilken etnicitet föräldern har.

      Det är viktigt att se det ur ett barnperspektiv och barnens bästa. Sedan är det en annan sak om man är vuxen, då kan man göra vad man vill med sitt hår.

      Tack för en intressant reflektionen, håll detta levande som sagt :-)